Xentaros, Next Generation Ninja

Posts : 1 Join date : 2012-09-12

Age: 17
How you found us: Dunto

Any Other Users: no
RP Length: never before

Character Sheet

Name: Xentaros Kolrastein
Nickname: Xen
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Height: 5'4
Weight: 125
Type (Meister, Weapon, Witch, etc...: Weapon
Position: Student Junior

Picture: Xentaros, Next Generation Ninja Attachment

Xentaros, Next Generation Ninja Attachment

Appearance: As black as the night, i have a traditional ninja suit. I have thick armor shoulder pads that still r flexible enough to move around in. Due to the mask that covers a good portion of my face, no one really knows what i look like. I never revile what is under the mask. On my left arm is a silver tribal tattoo. If I were to resonant with a meister, that would glow n cover my entire body, for slightly more soul lenght and power. My leggings are insulated and very comfortable. They are also extremely flexible. My family symbol is on my right legging. My tabi move with me as i move throught the shadows. I also have spiked arm braces that stretch up to my gloves. They are also spiked. I could use them for more damaging punches. The weapon that i am is a Sickle and Chain. I can pop the sickles out of my hands and form my hands into the sickes if needed for quick use. My chains may pop out of my body for flexible use and attacks, but usually out of my wrists. On my back waist area i do have a small tactical knife that is mainly used for cutting down thick bushes or inflicted minor wounds on my enemies.

Personality: Oftenly quiet and stealthy. I only talk when i feel that my opinion or knowledge is needed. Due to my many years of training within my family, i have dulled a lot of my emotions away. The only emotions that remain are for those i love or who have earned my trust. I am very agile, swift and move in shadows. Towards my enemies, i feel no mercy. I am cold and will, "put them out of they're misery shortly". I oftenly do very quick attacks, weither they are effective or not. I live my life under the moral of, "Live in shadows, think in shadows, kill in shadows".
Fighting Stlyle: I am very agile and strike as fast as i move. I have had around 6 years of my family's ninja training. Speed is my main concern in battle. I will oftenly wait for a moment to strike vital spots over the body of my enemies. I will dodge and stay within close range. While fighting, i will try to elude the detection of my opponent and strike open spots. I might fade into the night or shadows, then reappear with a sickle to someone's neck. Speed and timing is everything to me.

Abilities: "Fading Shadow"- after saying the "Fading Shadow", if i am within a shadow or some form of heavy darkness, i will fade out of sight. Shortly after, i will pop out of some other shadow nearby, without a sound. I cannot use my own shadow for this technique. "Shadowing Cloud"- After i say the word, "Cloud", i will create 2 more illusions of me. They cannot do any damange what so ever. They are only for distractions. If they are near or within light, they will become slightly faded, making it easier to spot where i am. I can also switch places with one of the clones for confusion. I cannot switch if the clone is faded by light. The ability only lasts for about 5 seconds.
Special Notes: I will oftenly walk into a room without anyone knowing. Also, while fighting in the dark, i am much stronger than normal. While fighting in the light, i am not as effective due to my skills not working.

Likes: Shadows and practicing my techniques.
Dislikes: Sunlight and lazy people.
Strengths: Avoiding attacks and stealthing. I am excellent in close combat fighting.
Weaknesses: Long range is difficult, he tends to have trouble taking a hit cause of how rarely he gets hit and he isnt as effective in a fight during the day or in a bright area.
Hobbies: Training

History: I come from a long lineage of ninjas. The Kolrastein family takes pride within they're training. I grew up never knowing my mother. My father was my mentor and my grandfather was like my only friend. My father didn't care what happened to me, so long as i could complete the ninja task at hand. He didn't want me to be another waste, much like my brother. My brother was killed by my father due to the fact that he couldn't comeplete his ninja tasks and he dishonored the family. My grandfather treated me well and oftenly taught me about the greater things in life. We would have a cup of tea and talk about my future. This eventually lead me to join the Death Academy. He said that it would improve my skills as a warrior and find out my "strange" weapon powers. I joined the academy without my father knowing and to this day, he still doesn't know. I have been able to keep it under the radar, much like how he trained me. I am in my Junior year of the academy, but i have a feeling that he might soon find out.

Subject: Re: Xentaros, Next Generation Ninja Wed Sep 12, 2012 8:19 pm

Hey there, and welcome to DWMA! I'm Mal, the Chief Bio Approver, and general help-y person. But I'm not here to be all warm and cuddly, I'm here to review your character.

Let's start with the positives, yea? First off, I find it very interesting that you chose to write this in a first person point of view. It doesn't affect my decision, but it's kinda cool. I like your personality, and fighting style.

Now I need to ask you to improve some things. Firstly, normal weapons cannot have their partial weapon forms just 'pop out.' The weapon has to take the place of a body part, so your sickle could become your hand (I'm assuming that you're effectively the same as Tsubaki's kusarigama form; correct me if I'm wrong). However, it cannot just emerge from your palm. That is an ability of a Death Scythe. The same could be said for the idea of chains 'popping out' of your body. It can't be done unless you're a Death Scythe. Second; weapons, when fightng autonomously, don't have those sorts of abilities. Anything beyond pure physical attacks requires resonation with a meister. Find a meister, and you can have these abilities (Fading Shadow and Shadowing Cloud), but not until then. But remember that the 'abilities' section is not just for battle moves that aren't really possible in the real world. You can give yourself skill-based abilities, such as being able to hide in deep enough shadow.

Another thing. I understand you want a ninja, but you can't realistically expect to go unnoticed when in a rather bizarre attire. If someone's hiding their face, people take note. This isn't a criticism, or something you need to improve, it's just an observation.

The last thing I'm going to ask you to improve is your history. What are these 'ninja tasks' you mention? What did your brother do to warrant his execution? How has your father not noticed you going to school for x amount of years? If the point of DWMA is to become a better weapon, how come you haven't found a meister, considering that's one of the best ways to become stronger? Specificity is a wonderful thing, my friend. I'd like you to answer these questions, especially the last two, and let me know when you're done.

If you have any questions, let me know, and I'll try to answer 'em to the best of my ability. Welcome to DWMA!